Did you know the new and improved Santa "Cyber Clause" drives a MINI? He does according to this tongue in cheek poem posted by Michael Pilla at
JennyMilchman.com:
Twas the Tweet before Christmas
And all through the ‘net, there were last minute specials,
And shopping time yet!
Photos were sent to the cloud with great care
So family and friends would be able to share.
The usual gadgets, some small and some large
Were all neatly plugged in for their overnight charge.
And Mom on her iPad and me on my Mac
Were Skype-ing our friends while having a snack.
When then our connection was lost to the router,
I yanked off my earbuds to see what was the matter.
A tingling I felt, from my head to my toes
Spying a red mini cooper — festooned with logos!
Flying faster than video on 1080p
The driver called out his sponsors, as clear as can be…
Now ebay, now Apple, now Am’zon and Zappos
On Google, on Priceline, on Fedex and Fios.
I knew in a moment, without any pause
It was the new and improved Santa —”Cyber Clause”.
Struck speechless was I, much like a mime
But I had to go greet him and grab some face time.
His clothes were Armani, to give him his due
He looked healthy and rested, and much slimmer too.
No more with the sleigh, or toys in the sack
That was old Clause, with the bad back.
“I’m the Mayor of Christmas,” he chortled with glee,
As he checked in with FourSquare, before speaking to me
“With gadgets, and cards”, he briefly explained
“My job’s become easier, no need to strain
I’ve streamlined my workshop, there’s much less to do
Put a factory in China, reindeers in a zoo.
I layed off some elves, I now work part time —
Since I developed an app to keep kiddies in line.
No more written lists of those naughty and nice,
I get real time updates, don’t have to check twice.”
He dropped off some gifts that were both pretty and small
And sucked down the Red Bull I left in the hall.
Then quick as a wink he dashed out to his car,
It started right up, and was bright as star.
He texted my Droid as he drove out of sight —
“Like me on Facebook” and have a good night!
